Life is quite interesting, just when I think I might be getting bored- it hands me a new challenge to deal with. My adventure into the world of dementia/Alzheimer's continues- and today was the first episode of anger management... not my anger, mind you, but Mom's. It was suggested during our meeting at the Alzheimer's society that there is another form of dementia that seems to be the idiosyncrasies of ones personality getting worse over a few decades and culminating into full blown problems during the later stages... this isn't fully recognized as Alzheimer's and isn't treated with the same medications, especially not with anti-depressants. I can't tell you exactly why, at this point, but after I get her evaluation scheduled, I'll find out.

In the meantime; a story about today's adventure. It was grocery day. I think that my brother and his partner were excited to have someone else experience the joy of taking Mom shopping, I should have taken that as a warning. The part of me that likes to trust others didn't pay attention to the warning bells that were clearly ringing, quite loudly. So we set the menu for the week, made a shopping list and Mom and I set off to the store.

Odd tidbits of info: I hate shopping, I make lists, stick to them, get in and get the heck out as quickly and efficiently as humanly possible. I don't argue with store managers or clerks (actually I often sympathize with them), I don't fight with unruly customers, I park far away from cart corrals and other vehicles, I don't buy excessive impulse items. My mother and I have never seen eye-to-eye in shopping styles. I do not tolerate hissy fits in public places and have been known to leave entirely full shopping carts when faced with someone else's hissy fit.

Ok, so I'm not used to the town we're living in, and was given a map with written directions that were contradictory... the map had one incorrect turn on it, the written directions were correct. When following the map failed to produce the expected results, I turned around and followed the other set of directions- thus making a 13 to 15 minute detour which resulted in Mom loosing her mind with great worry and strife. I should have turned around and taken her home- but stubborn, positive attitude me kept to the plan while making adjustments for odd mishaps... Mom doesn't deal well with mishaps.

Went into the store and started shopping off the list... we got about 2/3's of the way through and she decided that I had spent way too much money on stuff she would never be able to use up. I attempted to remind her that this week there were 5 adults to consider, that we had a list to stick to, and that we can't just run to the store on whims and impulse- we need to plan it out and be prepared. That was when the hissy started which resulted in her demanding to leave and me whole heartedly agreeing with her.

So we get home and are asked why we didn't complete the list. I calmly relate the events of our expedition and start making dinner. At which point Mom comes in the room and informs me that I have ruined her life. I jokingly tell her, "oh ok, thanks for making me the most powerful entity in the universe... its all my fault!" She gets really pissed off and starts screaming at me. I ask her to please leave me alone while I'm cooking. She informs me that I am not permitted to call her ‘Mom'. I again ask her to lease leave the kitchen. She continues. I turn everything off and leave the room by walking outside to the back yard.

My brother distracted her long enough for me to finish cooking. After dinner she thanked me for making a nice meal.

Alzheimer's / Dementia sucks. I miss the Mom I knew when I was in my 30's, she was a cool, positive, fun person who still wasn't a huggy person- but would never have thrown a hissy or an insult. I can only imagine how bad it must be for her inside her mind.

Good things that happened... Mom has been taking daily showers and using deodorant... she had previously refused to do this but has been simply mimicking my actions with only the slightest bit of encouragement from me ("Mom, we're all adults, we all need to wear deodorant", "Oh, ok... that makes sense then."

I am getting ready to attach pictures of what items are for to the items so she doesn't continue to be confused about them and doesn't have to ask what they are. We tried labeling them with words (bathroom, shampoo...) but sometimes she can't understand the words. I've found a picture of a toilet for the bathroom door, a picture of someone shampooing their hair for her shampoo, pictures of underwear, socks, jeans, and shorts for her dresser drawers- I'm hoping that the pictures help her but I am also waiting for a time when she isn't already aggravated.

Mom's long time bff ‘MK' is coming for a visit, she arrives tomorrow. Mom is really looking forward to this.