"Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers." Dave Barry

Usually I write up commentary on the day after Mom has retired for the evening. Today, however, I am requesting a few phone calls of support from my siblings to be made to 'JP' and 'J'.

'J' is apparently basing the ability to leave and take a few days off with 'JP' upon Mom's behavior. If she's being good, he'll go and if she's being 'bad' he won't. Unfortunately Mom is bent on using emotional manipulation to get what ever she does or does not desire. This morning it was about her shower.

I know there is a family history in dealing with whining, I recognize that none of us were ever permitted to be whiners; rather that was almost as sinful as taking a piece of candy without permission or expressing anger in front of a parent. Whining could inspire a level of punishment that no one wanted to deal with. News flash; Mom is a superb whiner, better than any small child I've ever met!

Mom isn't sleeping well, she was up every 20 minutes this morning after 2am. The entire house can hear her when she gets up, "creeeeak" is the door opening, "shuffle, shuffle, shuffle" is her walking to the bathroom, "Slam" is the bathroom door closing, "click, click, click" is the dog pacing in the hall outside the bathroom door, and then the process reverses as she returns to her room. At 6am I gave up trying to sleep, got up and made Mom's breakfast, the coffee, fed the dogs and hid upstairs in the computer room. Then 'JP' got up and greeted Mom as she repeated the process with some relief that finally others were awake with her. This is when the whining occurred.

'JP' , "Morning Mom! Look, Anna made your tea for you!:
Mom, "Oh, well then I'd better get dressed."
(note; the rest of us are in jammies and bathrobes)
'JP' , "Well Mom, why don't you have breakfast first and get dressed after you have your shower?"
Mom with an angry voice, "Why would I do that! The bathroom is COLD!"
Mom whining, "Why can't I get dressed when I want?" voice almost cracking as if she is ready to cry, "I want to go home where no one tells me what to do!"
'JP' in a resigned and frustrated voice, "Ok, fine Mom, get dressed first. The rest of us will have breakfast in our jammies and bathrobes so we can shower after breakfast. I had the dryer going this morning to make the bathroom warm for you."

Frankly, I think the correct approach may have been to assume a whining voice with Mom,
"Well gee Mom" insert hyperventilation breathing and assume whiny voice, "I warmed up the bathroom for you. I can't do ANYTHING right for you" insert cracking, almost crying voice, "Fine, do what you want, you just don't want to stay with me cause you don't LOVE me!"
Of course, I don't know if it would work but there really are some basic tools one can use to counter whining. Ignore it, show faith they will overcome the issue, guide them to take action that will help them, exaggerate what they are saying and tie it directly to the end of civilization, let the whiner know the consequences of their actions (long term)... I'm sure there are others, I just can't think of it right now.

Currently Mom is in the bathtub. She claimed she was itchy from eating something that was poison. 'JP' pointed out that she has Monistat 7 but it would be best to bathe before using it.

I still would appreciate any supportive phone calls to empower 'JP' and 'J' to take some time for themselves and go check their house in Florida and the job availability situation there.