Right, so did I previously explain that my family is filled with poor communicators and drama queens? If I didn't, I apologize for taking the liberty of expecting everyone to figure that out quickly. ... and people wonder why I like being alone.

The week before thanksgiving, my brother and I had a major blowup. I had not slept the night before as Mom wasn't sleeping- she kept wandering into my room looking for the bathroom, her cat, the invisible bears that she swore were in the yard/house, etc. So when Paul got up I explained that I hadn't slept and informed him that I was going to go to bed.

Instead of letting me sleep, he wandered into the kitchen and started throwing fits about where his dog leashes were and where some pots and pans were. Well his 'helper' had put the leashes in the pool house, and his partner had put the pans in the cupboard under the range. But Paul wasn't just having a hissy, he was screaming at the top of his lungs in the kitchen- so he not only woke me up, he pissed me off because he was blaming me for the 'missing' items and claiming that I had thrown them out.

I got up out of bed, grabbed the bag of dog leashes and the alleged missing pans and brought them to the living room where he was trying to hide after hearing me get up- and as he was encouraging Mom's ranting about what an evil person I was- I tossed them onto the coffee table. Then got in his face and told him 'F you', no response, so I said it again. Still no response.

Then I called my sister on my cell phone. She had told me that if and when I needed to leave I should call- so I went outside, lit a smoke and called her. She asked, "Can I come get you tomorrow?" I agreed that was fine, but her husband said, "No, we'll leave in half an hour!"

They both recognized the tone of voice when I said, "I'm done, come get me."

When I came back in Paul was on the phone with her, and he was telling her not to come, she hung up on him. As I was packing he was ranting about how now everyone in the family was going to be against him. I came out of my room and told him to shut up and go take a pill because he was behaving like a teenage drama queen who needed to be bitch slapped into reality.

We've made up now. He has recognized how far not to push me and what buttons to stay away from, and I am not living with him, lmao. Mom has moved back to Ohio and is living with my evil step-sister, who is going to hire babysitters and put Mom into a day care program.

Yes, you read that correctly.

We are looking for a facility to place Mom in.

I am researching university programs for the spring.

My sisters internet plan has this warped control freak thing about downloads- and apparently blogtv and stickam are heavy downloads. I signed into Jays show one evening and then coudln't use the internet for the next 36 hours because I had downloaded more than was permitted on the plan.

Go figure.

That's about it for now!

"Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers." Dave Barry

Usually I write up commentary on the day after Mom has retired for the evening. Today, however, I am requesting a few phone calls of support from my siblings to be made to 'JP' and 'J'.

'J' is apparently basing the ability to leave and take a few days off with 'JP' upon Mom's behavior. If she's being good, he'll go and if she's being 'bad' he won't. Unfortunately Mom is bent on using emotional manipulation to get what ever she does or does not desire. This morning it was about her shower.

I know there is a family history in dealing with whining, I recognize that none of us were ever permitted to be whiners; rather that was almost as sinful as taking a piece of candy without permission or expressing anger in front of a parent. Whining could inspire a level of punishment that no one wanted to deal with. News flash; Mom is a superb whiner, better than any small child I've ever met!

Mom isn't sleeping well, she was up every 20 minutes this morning after 2am. The entire house can hear her when she gets up, "creeeeak" is the door opening, "shuffle, shuffle, shuffle" is her walking to the bathroom, "Slam" is the bathroom door closing, "click, click, click" is the dog pacing in the hall outside the bathroom door, and then the process reverses as she returns to her room. At 6am I gave up trying to sleep, got up and made Mom's breakfast, the coffee, fed the dogs and hid upstairs in the computer room. Then 'JP' got up and greeted Mom as she repeated the process with some relief that finally others were awake with her. This is when the whining occurred.

'JP' , "Morning Mom! Look, Anna made your tea for you!:
Mom, "Oh, well then I'd better get dressed."
(note; the rest of us are in jammies and bathrobes)
'JP' , "Well Mom, why don't you have breakfast first and get dressed after you have your shower?"
Mom with an angry voice, "Why would I do that! The bathroom is COLD!"
Mom whining, "Why can't I get dressed when I want?" voice almost cracking as if she is ready to cry, "I want to go home where no one tells me what to do!"
'JP' in a resigned and frustrated voice, "Ok, fine Mom, get dressed first. The rest of us will have breakfast in our jammies and bathrobes so we can shower after breakfast. I had the dryer going this morning to make the bathroom warm for you."

Frankly, I think the correct approach may have been to assume a whining voice with Mom,
"Well gee Mom" insert hyperventilation breathing and assume whiny voice, "I warmed up the bathroom for you. I can't do ANYTHING right for you" insert cracking, almost crying voice, "Fine, do what you want, you just don't want to stay with me cause you don't LOVE me!"
Of course, I don't know if it would work but there really are some basic tools one can use to counter whining. Ignore it, show faith they will overcome the issue, guide them to take action that will help them, exaggerate what they are saying and tie it directly to the end of civilization, let the whiner know the consequences of their actions (long term)... I'm sure there are others, I just can't think of it right now.

Currently Mom is in the bathtub. She claimed she was itchy from eating something that was poison. 'JP' pointed out that she has Monistat 7 but it would be best to bathe before using it.

I still would appreciate any supportive phone calls to empower 'JP' and 'J' to take some time for themselves and go check their house in Florida and the job availability situation there.

"Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events." Albert Einstein

'MK' left this morning, she forgot her photos but I have emailed her copies and will send the photos themselves after I get her address out, its either in my book or I've already lost it and will have to get it from Chris again.

I have already cleaned the laundry from the green and brown rooms as well as Mom's personal laundry and I was able to get Mom to take a shower and put deodorant on. I had to convince her to use the nasal spray, "Why? I can breathe through my nose just fine, it's the rest of my head that is clogged up!" But she has remained positive all day rather than reverting to getting upset about everything.

I do not understand the back-stabbing though- she is currently downstairs telling 'JP' and 'J' that I've said something to her about leaving, which is totally fabricated. Apparently the boys are leaving for Florida tomorrow... maybe. I really wish they had gone while 'MK' was here, but I don't expect it will be that different. Hopefully it won't freak her out when they leave.

After moving into the green room I went looking for a cd player. Oddly enough there is not one to be found now. I had previously suggested that we get Mom one made by Fisher Price- they run 50$, have big buttons and are very sturdy, I found one on Ebay for 25$. The boys, however, don't think it is necessary. So anyone who has one they aren't using- please send it my way. There is no way to play music here unless it is that awful satellite station which Mom doesn't tolerate. She wants me to bring up her music from the storage house. It would probably be a good thing to have a bookcase to put her music on- I don't think she can handle one of those cd holders.

I don't have a router yet, I expect one will be headed my way this week. Without it I have to come up here to the hot loft and listen to the rest of the house. Privacy is an issue, not a huge issue, but all the same.

Did someone not tell me that Mom wore pads or diapers? She isn't wearing them now. Trust me... I know, I did her laundry. By the way, don't buy expensive prewash- I found a recipe that works a lot better. In a spray bottle combine; one part dawn dishwashing liquid, one part salt water and one part vinegar.

"Everything in the universe goes by indirection. There are no straight lines." Ralph Waldo Emerson

This morning I wasn't able to convince Mom to shower. It's rather unfortunate that she has no sense of smell (according to her) because she smelled like cat piss- but I didn't think pushing the issue was a good idea. It took most of the morning to get her fed, dressed, hair brushed and braces on her feet, but again- I wasn't being pushy with her as she was visiting with 'MK'.

Today 'MK' wanted to take us out to lunch. 'J' wasn't feeling up to much of anything, and probably relished the thought of some quite, alone time- so he stayed home. 'MK' drove to a chain restaurant called Panera Bread where we had a nice lunch, good food.

It was a little trying for Mom, lots of noise, tons of people, worrying about how to get her soda, where to find a table, what about the extra food she didn't finish eating... but she still had a good time. On the way back to the house I conveniently napped in the backseat while 'JP' and 'MK' decided to drive to the Natural Tunnel in Virginia.

Mom has been to this park twice in the last 3 months but has no memory of it. She stayed in the car and waited for us while we walked down to the train tracks (well, almost) and then back up the 'mountain'. Beautiful scenery, amazing view, steep stairs, do you all know I hate stairs about as much as Mom hates cliffs? Lol

We got home and she spent a few hours watching tv before dinner. Tonight we had pineapple chicken, basmati rice with a pineapple glaze, broccoli and pineapple bread. Mom loved it. 'JP' and I had a clashing of power when he grabbed my chicken out of the fridge and started removing it from its marinade to rinse the chicken in water. I firmly and emphatically kicked him out of the kitchen. He hates that. He did, however, compliment my dinner after eating it.

After dinner Mom and 'MK' sat talking about old times and looking at photos. There were a lot of blanks to fill in for Mom, lots of things she claimed to not have ever known anything about. Names of schools, places, dates from when she originally moved to Cincinnati, these pieces seem to escape her. There wasn't any frustration from her about not knowing this information though, it was almost as if she has accepted that pieces of her memory simply are not there anymore.

'JP' took a couple photos of the two of them, I've attached one.

Mom has a referral to see a neuro-psychologist (she refused to see the neuro-psychiatrist) to further/ exact the precise diagnosis. The doctor did not want to prescribe any anti-depressants because he said it might complicate the diagnosis. However, he did say that a beta blocker anti-depressant/ anti-anxiety (the most commonly used for most people) could create problems if she did not have specifically alzheimers- he also mentioned that the most commonly prescribed anti-anxiety is an SSID inhibitor, which would not cause a problem in the other forms of dementia.

The neuro-psychologist decided to call Moms main doctor and ask for her file- so they will call us back with the appointment, I suggested to 'JP' that it would probably be a good idea to call him on a weekday- daily basis until he gives us the appointment. Down here in Tennessee everything moves at a pace that is very much like Island time (slowly, very slowly).

Mom is enjoying having 'MK' here, and she is on her best behavior. She still does like to fill the conversation with misinformation, but I'm sure it is ok- I try to pepper the conversation with the correct information at other times. So far she has only been bad mouthing doctors today. I am temporarily re-instated into the family, probably due to the combination of 'MK' being here and Mom liking the dishes I prepare for dinner.

This evening Mom watched 'Are you smarter than a 5th grader' and 'The McLaughlin Group' with 'MK'; she hated the later because she said they wouldn't shut up long enough to hear what they were saying (a fair assessment in my opinion) and didn't like the former because it was too silly. She went to bed at 9pm after I made a point of telling 'MK' that she could go to bed when ever she wanted to. Mom walked her to her room last night, I think she was up until around 11pm secretly reading in her room! hee hee

A woman I knew in Toronto, lived with her family- they were used to staying up till midnight and she was an 8pm sleeper. She would sit on the couch and complain that no one was going to bed. We would have to stage everyone going to bed at 8pm, turn off all the lights and then wait 15 minutes for her to start snoring before everyone else could get back up and go downstairs. lol

Mom may be a problem with this other doctor. She has twice today told 'MK' that she "won't talk with any f-ing psychiatrist who is trying to get inside my head, psychoanalyze me and read my mind." I told her that I thought she might be embellishing just a little bit the doctors alleged intention. She laughed, but it still made her angry. We might get to that doctors office and have her refusing to get out of the car. We'll deal with that if and when it happens though.